'One Step Behind and to the Left'

My plan for the day, was to write about the Bill Cosby situation, the facts of the case(s) and the ramifications of celebrity protection vs. exposure, in law enforcement. I was mulling this over for most of the day yesterday, thinking of the best way to research the women who have made claims against Mr. Cosby and what, if anything, law enforcement has done to protect 'America's Dad'. I thought about other similar cases that I could compare this to, and of course, Michael Jackson and Woody Allen were in the forefront. But then something happened that was so heinous, so unbelievable, so injurious that I had to change the entire post, Don Lemon of CNN interviewed Cosby rape accuser, Joan Tarshis and all hell broke loose in my mind.

I was completely dumbstruck when I heard and read the news reports of Mr. Lemon's interview of Ms. Tarshis. For Mr. Lemon, a gay black man, to ask Ms. Tarshis if she could have bitten Mr. Cosby's penis to stop her rape was rude, shameful and so very prejudicial, I was appalled. To this mother of four daughters, I felt like that interview merely pointed out just how far women's rights have not evolved. I fully expected Mr. Lemon to ask Mr. Cosby's victim what she was wearing, how short was her skirt, did she have too much to drink, why was she, a single woman, alone with a married man? A few month's back, Senator Kristen Gillibrand (NY-D) wrote in her book, Off the Sidelines: Raise Your Voice, Change the World, comments regarding weight gain that were directed at her when she was pregnant, while serving in the U.S. House of Representatives. One would think that men who work for us in Washington, D.C. would be keenly aware and sensitive with what a co-worker or constituents or anyone really might find offensive. Of course, the Republican Congress Committee Leadership for 2015 that was chosen one week ago, proved that things are 'same old, same old' for the Republicans. They were only able to find one white woman who would be able to lead, in their minds. It's all about 'old white guys' in control, in Congress.

All of this began to make me question exactly how far women have progressed since the fight for equal rights began for women back in 1923 when the Equal Rights Amendment, written by Alice Paul and Crystal Eastman, was first introduced in Congress. In 1972 the Amendment finally passed both the House and the Senate and was sent to the States for ratification. Unfortunately, the necessary 38 States, ratifying the Amendment, did not occur before the 'drop dead' date of March 22, 1979. So, I guess you could say, legally, women are lagging behind black and homosexual/transsexual/bisexual men.

Women still lag behind men in business. They receive 78% of the pay scale that men receive for the very same job. In talking with many friends and family, I've found that the belief that men 'need' a larger pay check because they are the primary earner for the family persists today. I had the experience of having the promise of a pay raise reneged because my boss believed I would be getting an increase in child support. Investigations have proven that for many employment opportunities in these days of the Great Recession, a male will be hired in a head-to-head comparison with a woman because we continue to believe that men are family breadwinners. If you are a woman searching in today's job market, try to apply for a position that only women will apply for, you will have a better chance of getting hired. I've had occasion to be in my local ODJFS office and have seen the reaction of single women arriving to apply for assistance for their family, there's almost an eye-roll that reads, 'really, couldn't you keep your legs closed, you are just lazy, you should have to pay for your own kid's support'. A miracle of 'attitude adjustment' occurs when a single man walks in to receive assistance for his family. All of the sudden, it's all 'WOW!, incredible, what a great guy you are to undertake raising your kids, what do you need, do you need help with day care, education services, etc.'? Men who have anything at all to do with their kids, if just to tell the little darlings 'good night' and read them a book once a month are fabulous fathers. Women who don't work outside of the house but, are responsible for the kids, the house, the yard, the pets, the husband; the mom who never has time to shave her legs, get more than 3 hrs. sleep, be up all night with sick kids, get kids off to school, be the homework monitor, act as the room mom at school, chauffeur the kids around, cook like Julia Child, do the laundry, iron his shirts, mow the lawn, rake the leaves, perform holiday/birthday/graduation celebration chores is often called a 'bitch'. Women who work outside the home and still have all their 'women's work' to take care of are called 'bitch', too! If you were responsible for all that care-taking, you'd be a bitch, too! And, as if on cue, the 'human interest' story of tonight's local evening news is, 'How Should Women Dress To Get A Man's Help?'. Let me give you a clue, there are no sweatpants, a 'baby spit' T-shirt, house slippers or greasy hair involved.

I'm not sure if women are sliding backward in their quest for equal rights or if we had never made much progress at all. One thing I do know, ladies, look in the mirror, how many of you have lauded a man because he said 'good night' to his kids, or called the harried woman next door, a bitch? Out in the working world, have you sat back, letting a man get promoted over you, or kept quiet while he was given a bigger bonus/raise? And, how about that 'eye roll' for the single mom with food stamps, did you offer some help? I bet you might keep that baby busy while a stressed dad is fumbling with unloading his cart while chasing a 3 yr. old around, never thinking he should have used a condom. If we do not start to demand what is rightfully ours, no one will do it for us. We must stand as sisters, 'one step behind and to the left' before we can move forward as one. In many ways, we have no one to blame but ourselves for our lack of progress over the last 91 yrs.

#women #equalrightsamendment #billcosby